#i'm still baffled by the amount of interactions my posts get

[sirlancenotalot]

[friendlyneighorhoodchaosdemon]

Catharsis | Adrian Chase

this fic is race/ hair type/ body type neutral; why does that matter? If you feel I’ve overlooked something in regard to this, no matter how “small”, please let me know!

@stealsteels threatened to BEAT ME UP (real) if I didn't post this so I'm doing it.

(…in all seriousness, thank you for all of your encouragement, it truly means the world ♡)

word count | 5.1k (woof)

warnings/ notes | 18+, fluff/ smut; clit rubbing/ fingering, spanking, vibrators, kink discovery/ exploration, trusting and communicating with your partner (hot), service top Adrian, masochistic reader/ sadistic Adrian if you squint. I don't write piv :)

as noted, this contains spanking. It is of course fully consensual, something reader explicitly asks for and (most importantly) NOT a punishment, but I realize it still isn’t everyone's thing, so please be mindful.

also this is incredibly self indulgent and tbh maybe a little out of character, and turned out a lot fluffier and domestic that I intended.

ao3

minors/ ageless blogs please respect my wishes and do not interact with my work/ blog. I will block you :)

You hear him before you see him. A double shift at Fennel Fields followed by hours of shooting a bunch of appliances in the woods with Chris and he still careens into your apartment with all the intensity and finesse of a hurricane. The endless amount of energy he seemed to have was sometimes baffling, and while it was usually fun to have your own personal Energizer bunny around (especially in bed), sometimes you really envied it. 

You especially envy it on days like today when you felt like you could barely drag yourself through a comparatively low stakes and low effort day.

That feeling doesn’t last long though, because as soon as he toes his shoes off (a task that takes significantly longer than it should because he refuses to untie his laces, insisting that it’s faster even though it clearly isn’t) and rounds the corner into the kitchen, he shoots you his signature smile and you instantly feel that warmth you only seem to feel around him. 

Shoes successfully removed, he ambles over to where you stand in front of the stove, fanning yourself as you lower the heat of the burner. Strong arms instinctively find their way around your waist and he nuzzles into your side, dropping tiny kisses to your cheek. Said kisses are, of course, mostly a means of distraction so that he can reach around you to grab the spoon you'd been stirring with and stick the entire thing in his mouth, but it’s still cute enough to earn him a few kisses in return.

You return to stirring (with a new spoon), humming your replies as he launches into his recap of the day’s events. The recaps are rarely linear (sometimes they're not even coherent), so by now you’re used to the way he flip flops between how crazy the recoil from Chris' Desert Eagle was (“I mean yeah okay, I shot it without his permission, but holy shit babe that thing is crazy! Maybe I should get one. I mean when you think about it it’s actually kind of weird that we don’t have matching guns. Do you think he would think that was weird? If I got the same gun as him?”), to how he’d broken a guy's kneecaps after he'd caught him pushing his girlfriend into a wall in a dark alley, to how some other guy had actually proposed at Fennel Fields (“but don’t worry babe, when I propose it’ll be somewhere way nicer. Like at least  Olive Garden or better.”)

The last bit earns him an eye roll and a nudge to the ribs, but you still can’t help the grin that pulls at your lips.

With dinner done, he finally disentangles himself from you to grab the plates and silverware and plops down in front of the tv. Tonight you’re finishing up the latest season of Barry (a show he finds hilarious, more for the gore than the actual comedy), but the second you take your seat next to him his arms immediately find their way around your middle. 

“You know you can’t eat if you’re holding me, right?” you question, arching an eyebrow at him.

Undeterred, he pulls you even tighter, insisting that he “totally can though!”

“I’ve mastered the art. See, look,” He demonstrates said “mastery” by pulling you into his chest and bringing his plate around so that it sits on his open palm in front of you. He grins down at you, hopeful you’ll just ignore the high likelihood of pasta sauce spilling down your front with one wrong move. You pat his cheek and shake your head no, moving to separate your bodies. He pouts, truly pouts at you and once again find yourself unable to hide your smile. 

“Okay okay, what about if you lay down on my chest and I put my plate on your back?” 

“Then how would I eat?” 

He ponders this for a second until you see another lightbulb go off.

“Okay, what about you sit in my lap and hold your plate and I-”

“I swear, if you suggest putting your plate on my head...”

“You didn’t let me finish!” 

Another skeptical look before you sigh and motion for him to finish.

“...But yes I was going to say that.”

The way he seems to so desperately want this to work is perhaps a little annoying, but mostly very cute and endearing. Another eye roll makes it clear that his request is out of the question, and he’ll, for the time being, have to settle for eating like a normal person.

You turn your attention back to the screen just in time to see a guy's brains splatter as he gets shot in the head point blank. Despite the fact that you know about Adrian’s propensity for violence, it still gets to you and you wince. He pulls you tightly into his side, rubbing soothing circles into your shoulder and you settle into his touch, muttering your thanks into his sweatshirt and pressing a grateful peck to his chin. You sigh contentedly and press your face into his side and your eyes drift closed as you inhale his scent.

A bark of laughter jolts you awake. You hadn’t even realized you’d fallen asleep, but sure enough when you look up the credits are rolling. You yawn and stretch, craning your neck to look up at him and he seems to immediately sense your stare. He smiles that smile, the one that’s sweet like his normal one but also not, doing absolutely nothing to hide the fact that he’s thinking about something not so sweet, and the proof of what he exactly he's thinking is now pressing up against you. You turn to face him fully, taking in his lopsided smile and the slight splotchy blush creeping over his neck and plant a small teasing kiss to the corner of his mouth.

Obviously this isn’t enough for him, and he leans over to gently grab the back of your neck and pulls you to him. The kiss is… kind of a lot, to be honest, but most things with Adrian are. Overeager as always he wastes no time licking along the seam of your mouth, asking for entry. You don't oblige him, not yet, opting to tease him instead as you nip his bottom lip.

You hug him closer, feeling the muscles in his back flex under your touch as he tilts your head to the side to suck at the skin of your neck. You move to straddle him but he's already getting impatient and makes a frustrated sound as he grips your thighs and pulls you the rest of the way into his lap. With you seated fully on top of him, he moves one hand to your hip to hold you solidly in place while the other snakes up under your shirt. Adrian is rarely smooth and tonight is no exception. His hands move over you as if he's unsure where to go or where to stop, touching you like it's the first time. They ghost over your stomach and up between your breasts before finally settling on your ass in a nice firm hold.

He finally frees your neck, laving sloppy kisses over your tender skin before pulling away completely. The momentary loss of contact is enough for you to come back to your senses and you push lightly against his chest.

“Hi.” Hi? You scoff at yourself. Great start. 

You have no idea why you’re feeling so self-conscious all of a sudden, especially when he's looking at you like that.

The way he noticeably focuses when you have something to say, absorbing your every word is endearing but sometimes it also feels so intense. Especially now, when he’s sitting here, half hard underneath you, eyes growing wide and curious under his large frames.

You gather yourself and clear your throat.

“I uh, I actually wanted to talk about something. To ask you something, actually. I mean, we obviously don’t have to do it tonight, or do anything tonight. I mean I know you’ve had a really long day so I don’t want you to feel obligated to do it tonight, or at all even, if you don't want to. I don’t even know if it’s something you’d be interested in so, no pressure, obviously.” 

You’re way too aware of the fact that you’re rambling, which is typically more of an Adrian thing than a you thing, but despite (or maybe because of) your awareness, you can’t seem to stop. The words just keep tumbling out, and now you’re getting flustered and a little bit annoyed with yourself, in large part because it's Adrian for Christ's sake. He's never judged you for your desires and you know it's not in his nature. Even now he just sits there, ignoring his own arousal, patiently waiting for you to get the words out, tracing comforting (albeit distracting) shapes against the tops of your thighs. In spite of all this you still struggle with simply just saying what you want– what you need. You take another breath.

"I want…" 

You had what felt like the most supportive partner in the world, so why did this feel so fucking hard?

He nods, squeezing your sides, encouraging you to continue. “Tell me what you want. Tell me and I'll give it to you.” 

"I, uh, I want you to spank me." You hold your breath, gauging his reaction carefully.

He immediately perks up at this and just like that, you’re at ease again. Not even a hint of the hesitation or confusion (or even worse, judgment or disgust) you’d dealt with the few times you’d brought it up with previous partners. Not even the well meaning (but kind of annoying) "I don't want to hurt you" you'd come to expect. Then again, this is Adrian, your Adrian, and now you’re wondering why you were even worried in the first place. 

Then again, it wasn't like this was exactly a shocking revelation. Adrian already knew you liked some pain and he’d been more than happy to give you the occasional playful spank before, in and out of the bedroom. Even though what you're asking for now was much different, his reaction is a huge relief.

For his part, he sits there, fucking beaming at you. His eyes drift to your lips again, tongue sneaking out to lick his own as he leans in to nip at you this time. For a moment he lingers, like he can’t decide whether he wants to kiss you or move back down to your neck. He goes with the former, pulling you into a searing kiss. You don’t consider yourself the type to get easily flustered, but fuck if he isn’t literally taking your breath away right now. He pushes his tongue into your mouth, payback for earlier, and you gasp. His hand moves to cradle the back of your neck again, squeezing just the tiniest bit. You know he's barely using any of his strength and that knowledge makes you shudder.

“So, how do you want to do this?”

You laugh, “I um…” To be honest, you kind of hadn’t really put much thought into logistics and the kiss wasn't making it any easier to think.

You don’t have to flounder for too long though, because now that you’ve put the idea into his head, he’s running with it. 

“Want me to bend you over the couch?” 

Another thing most people don’t know about Adrian, and you’re thankful for this, is how… focused he can be. Especially when properly motivated.

“Or I could put you over my lap. Get you nice and relaxed and just… help get all the tension out. Would you like that? Hm?” Hia hands have drifted back to your ass and he pinches it now to emphasize his point, making you yelp.

You can tell how excited he’s getting both by the way he continues to ramble and by the way he’s started to absentmindedly rut up against you. You don’t think he even realizes he’s doing it because he’s still talking, seemingly completely unaware.

“Maybe we should get a paddle. I’d love to see your ass jiggle when I hit it with a paddle. Fuck, do you have one? Should we get one right now? Or a riding crop. Or- what are those things with all the tassels?”

“Adrian, do you really want to buy a flogger right now? Or do you want to take me to bed?"

“Right, right.” Without warning, he stands and you do your best to cling to him as he makes his way to your bedroom. From this position it’s harder to grind against him, but that doesn’t stop you from trying. You press your lips against the long column of his throat, moving up from his Adam’s apple to kiss behind his ear. You move back down and up again, repeating the action on the other side. He groans, deep and guttural and filthy, and you think it’s the loveliest sound you’ve ever heard.

“Stopstopstop, you’re distracting me!” He huffs, cutely, like he really has the audacity to be annoyed right now.

You grin into his neck, unable to stop yourself from softly nibbling his ear.

He places you down on the bed, crawling over you to kiss down your neck and you arch into him, hands sliding down his chest, toned muscles apparent despite the thick material of his sweatshirt, before reaching his waistband. You move to tug them down, desperate to feel him in your hands but he quickly grabs both your wrists and holds them above your head. He pulls back to look at you, smiling a very different smile now.

You try in vain to tug your wrists free, whining for him to let you go so you can touch him, but the look he fixes you with is enough to shut you up. Slowly, slowly he trails his free hand down your chest and slips it into your shorts, rubbing you over your panties. 

You moan, clamping your thighs around his hand and grinding yourself into his touch, growing more and more desperate by the second. When he finally he relents and releases your hands you're panting, but you waste no time wrapping your arms around his neck and tangling your hands in his curls as he returns to your neck, kisses turning to bites.

He rucks your shirt all the way up and you lift so he can finish tugging it over your arms. You shiver, fully exposed to him now and he bends down to take one nipple in his mouth, alternating between gentle bites and sucks while circling the other with his thumb and you sigh dreamily, pushing up into his touch.

Your hand drifts back to the nape of his neck, absently dragging your nails up and down the back of his scalp, dark curls running through your fingers and he groans against your skin. You move for his pants again but he bites your nipple that much harder; a clear warning.

He releases your nipple and you think he's switching to the other one but he instead fixes you with another stern look. His voice is lower this time when he speaks.

“Are you gonna behave, or do I need to tie you up?”

You can’t help the shiver that runs through you, or the whimper that escapes your lips at his words.

As enticing as the offer is, you’re starting to get antsy. You nod your head and mutter your assent and he smirks, seemingly satisfied with your answer. 

The look he gives you this time is much softer but it still makes your blood run hot, makes you feel like the electricity in your nerves is sparking just under your skin. You turn your head to the side and without missing a beat he grabs your chin lightly, guiding your gaze back to him.

Heat rushes up your neck to your cheeks, but you make yourself hold his gaze. His pupils are almost completely blown black now, cheeks ruddy and lips set in a firm line. 

"I care about making you feel good.” The sincerity in his voice floods you with warmth.

“Are you gonna let me?”

You whimper, wishing he’d just go back to kissing you, but you know the question isn’t rhetorical.

“Yes, yes, please Adrian just- please”, you pant, stretching up, wordlessly begging him to kiss you again, to do something, but he doesn't relent. He just holds your gaze while you pout and squirm under him.

“Now, tell me what you want.”

You peer up at him, uncertain of what he means. “I told you, I want you-”

“No, tell me exactly what you want. Be specific. Do you… do you want me to punish you?” His voice quiets a bit at the end.

“No! No, I don’t. I don’t want it to be a punishment. I-I don’t know. I just…  I do want it to hurt but... I more just want to not think, just for a while. Sorry, that’s not what you asked but-”

“No, no that’s good. That’s good.” 

He finally lets go of your wrists and kneads the muscles in your shoulders. The warmth and pressure from his hands soothes your nerves and you sigh and smile up at him.

“Alright, get over my lap then.”

You scramble to obey, already dizzy with anticipation. You feel giddy with it, and despite your nerves you couldn't deny how badly you wanted this– wanted to feel his hands on you, wanted him to make you feel release only the way he could.

You splay yourself over his spread legs, head resting on the pillow you’d grabbed. Now that you’re unable to see what he’s doing, your mind starts to race. Your pulse quickens, and you start to get that familiar floaty feeling you get whenever he takes control and you get to let go.

He puts one hand on the small of your back and with the other he finally, mercifully, tugs at your waistband. You can feel just how hard he's gotten now as he presses into your hip, but he doesn’t move. Adrian isn't much for teasing but he makes no move to touch you, so you wiggle your hips in the hope that it’ll get him to do… something. He presses firmly on your lower back and you huff, but still yourself anyway. He slowly smooths over the muscles in your lower back, pressing deeper and deeper until you relax into his touch. 

He moves lower, gripping the meat of your ass, kneading it softly, and you’re not sure if the gentle touches are genuine or if he’s trying to get you to let your guard down before he starts.

He unceremoniously spreads your legs, dipping his hand between your thighs before ghosting his fingers over your lips. He moves to circle your clit over your underwear and you moan into the pillow, bucking your hips back into his hand, searching for more of whatever he’s willing to give you.

You should’ve known better again, because as soon as you do, his hand comes down squarely against your ass. The pain isn’t so bad, but the sound is enough to make you jump. 

"Oh." he says quietly, pushing his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. "I see."

You're not sure exactly what he means by this but you don't have time to think about it too hard before he brings his hand down again, this time on the other cheek. He stops briefly and you move to turn and ask if that's all he intends to do, but you feel another stinging slap before you get the chance.

“You said you wanted it to hurt, right?” You mumble a "yes", high and breathy, into the pillow that’s smushed against your face.

"Then ask me nicely."

Fuck.

"Adrian, please, please, fucking- just - harder please."

The pace he sets now is unrelenting. You pretty quickly become aware of the fact that he's making sure there's no pattern for you to predict and the thought makes you even giddier.

One smack, and then another, the stinging pain hovering just on the edge of too much, dulling all of your other senses. You start to get that familiar hazy feeling, and you relax into it, welcome it, will it to take you over completely.

Left, left, left, right, left again, one sharp, followed by a few open handed ones to your thigh in quick succession. All the while he's rubbing small, tight circles against your clit with his other hand.

His fingers move to tease your entrance, rubbing small circles into you and like the slaps he's doling out they seem to have no predictable rhythm.

"I think… this is really unlocking something in me," he mutters, more to himself than to you. 

You’d been so focused on what he was doing that you only now realize how embarrassingly loud your moans had been, but his comment draws something out of you. You’re whining and writhing against him, not even trying to look dignified at this point, the sensation verging on overwhelming but so so good.

Suddenly it’s gone, and you whine in protest. For a moment everything is still, and you realize for the first time how quickly your heart is beating.

“Still okay?”

You don’t think you can form words right now, but you groan an affirmative, hoping it gets your message across. Adrian gently tilts your chin so he can look into your eyes and confirm. “Yes?” he questions, and your heart warms at the way he asks, at the way he always wants to be certain. The way he's biting his lip also tells you you’re not the only one who's enjoying this.

You exhale sharply, forcing your brain and mouth to actually form words, making sure your "yes" is clear. He nods once in return and releases your chin, and you sigh as you sink into the pillow again. Once you're comfortable, he starts again.

"Good girl. Keep being good for me.”

The sharp stinging pain and the dull thudding of his open palm are starting to run together, all becoming one sensation. He grips the fat of your ass again with one hand, releases it and brings the other hand down. He repeats this a few more times; squeezing, releasing and then bringing his hand down quickly before the blood has the chance to rush back under your skin, gauging your reactions each time, cataloging every whimper, moan and twitch, every shudder, flinch and squeal and rewarding each in kind.

“You like that? You like it when I hurt you like this? You like my fingers rubbing your pretty little clit like this?”

With this he runs his fingers back through the slick between your legs, teasing a finger against your opening.

"Jesus, fuck, look at you. Is this all for me? Yeah? Answer me." You can’t help but whine at that, telling him "Yes, yes it's all for you, all for you Adrian!" hiccuping and helpless to do anything but feel him.

He continues, “I think I know what you want, but you know you have to use your words,” he chides. “Can you do that for me?”

“Yes, yes! Pleasepleaseplease” You’re nearly sobbing now, tears you hadn't even noticed before falling freely now.

“I think I have something you’ll like even better,” he says, and your heart leaps at the thought of what he could possibly have in mind. You move to turn to him, but a firm hand on your back keep you in place.

He draws his hand back and you brace yourself for the inevitable impact, but it doesn't come. You huff, knowing full well he's absolutely got the shittiest grin on his face but you refuse to turn around this time, refuse to give him the satisfaction of seeing your annoyance. So the two of you just sit there, momentarily suspended, at the world’s tensest, horniest impasse. You, over his lap, your panties hanging off of your ankle, and him, with presumably one hand raised in the air and one tracing faint shapes into the skin of your inner thighs.

"You," he starts, taking a deliberate breathe like he's trying to compose himself, trying to stave off the arousal he's thus far been able to keep at bay. He’s still got his pants on, and the combination of that and you writhing and moaning on top of him is starting to become unbearable.

"You have no fucking idea what you do to me."

He sounds dangerous now, voice too measured and now the tension is really starting to get to you.

He’s moving on the bed, doing his best to not jostle you too much but you can still feel his hips and cock shift under you as he reaches over to the drawer on your side of the bed. 

You hear him rifling through it, various objects clattering as he tosses them around. You use this time to ground yourself, taking a few deep breaths but they do little to stop the way your blood is still rushing under your skin. You have an idea of what he’s looking for, but you don’t dare turn around to confirm your suspicions. 

Finally, the rustling stops and he chuckles triumphantly.

He’s quiet again. Suspiciously, unnervingly quiet. Adrian is so rarely quiet that when he is it's noticeable. He’s still lazily running his fingers between your thighs, purposefully avoiding your clit this time, despite the insistent roll of your hips. Like he’s got all the time in the fucking world.

You hear the telltale buzz of the Magic Wand behind you, but he doesn’t give you time to register it before he pushes the head right up against your clit. You cry out, the sensation immediately far too intense, but despite your struggle he continues to firmly hold you in place. You whine pathetically, the pressure and vibration too much too soon, and he eases up just a little so the vibrations are still strong, but not so overwhelming.

You keep squirming, you can’t help it, and he moves the toy from your clit. This time you chase it, now desperate for stimulation and he chuckles above you and spanks your ass again.

“Fuck!” You cry out, burying your face into the pillow again. You know how you probably look, completely fucked out, tears splilling freely from your eyes now as you sob ugly and way too loud sobs, but you can't think about that right now. You were close, so so close. You just needed that extra little push.

“You’re doing so well baby. Can you take a few more?” and he asks so sweetly you can't even think about saying no.

Adrian returns to rubbing the small of your back, his voice a little softer now. He knows the telltale signs of your impending orgasm, and he always knows how to get you over the edge.

You gasped an “uh-huh”, arching into his touch and this time he allows it and repositions the toy directly against your clit again. Despite his softer tone, his hand comes down again just as hard and unrelenting as before and you’re honestly glad he isn’t going softer now that he knows you’re close.

He turns the vibration up a little more and the extra stimulation is exactly what you need. You feel your body seize momentarily as you clench and shake and for a split second everything feels still before your orgasm crests and breaks over you. 

You hold onto that feeling for as long as you can, letting the wave break and settle and feeling your brain go blissfully hazy.

You feel floaty, your body feeling absolutely spent, wrung out completely and everything in that moment feels so perfect.

Adrian slowly ghost gentle touches over your back and down over your ass and thighs. You feel something cool and sigh contentedly as he rubs lotion into your stinging flesh.

You work to steady your breathing, reveling in the feeling of his gentle touch and the sweet praises he mumbles.

He knows you sometimes get a little dizzy and fucked out after you cum, (loves it, really) so he waits for you to gather yourself. Once he finishes you roll onto your stomach.

You wouldn't blame him for being self satisfied or even cocky in this moment, but the smile he wears now is anything but. It's just warm and sweet, like him. 

He grabs one of the small hand towels you keep in the bedside drawers and gently wipes you down, knowing how much you hate the feeling of sweat on your skin after and helps you pull a fresh pair of underwear and one of his oversized shirts on as you settle into his lap.

“Was it.. was it good for you? Was it too hard?” You hear the little bit of worry start to creep into his voice and you’re quick to reassure him.

“No, no not at all. It was perfect Adj. You know I would’ve stopped you if something was wrong.”

He visibly relaxes at this, and resumes running his fingers over your tender flesh, humming softly.

It’s quiet, and for a while the only sound you’re aware of is your breathing. When he speaks again, it’s like he’s already in the middle of a thought.

“But seriously. Whatever you need, you know I’m happy to do it for you. And you know how much I love taking care of you. I just always want to make sure I make you feel good, you know?”

You smile at his confession. “Yeah, I know. And thank you. Seriously."

You clear your throat. “It's just nice to have someone who cares, you know?”

He hums thoughtfully, still rubbing your skin gently.

"I know you care about me as a person, and I'm not saying you're the only one who does. I meant more, it's nice to have someone who cares about making me feel good. Not to say that other people were just using me for sex but… with you it's just,” you go quiet again. “It’s just different."

“So thank you. For… this. For not being weirded out by it, I mean. And for doing it, of course.”

You sit up so you can look him in the eye now and he pulls you into him fully, arms tight and secure. The last thing you're aware of before you drift off this time is his scent as he kisses your temple.

[woonova]

꩜ ﾟ˖ SING ME TO SLEEP !.

◟﹙ 🎡 ﹚kim sunoo ﹕oneshot ﹙ @woonova ﹚

ʚɞ ﾟ˖  written to say something by twice

ʚɞ ﾟ˖  genre fluff, high school au

ʚɞ ﾟ˖  synopsis annoyed at the fact that he would now have to take a different bus because of his teacher's actions sunoo saunters into the afternoon with a displeased mood, that quickly changes once he catches sight of you heading towards the empty seat next to him

ʚɞ ﾟ˖  warning none i'm aware of, plz notify me if you find any

ʚɞ ﾟ˖  wc 0.95k

rin's notes ! tumblr’s algorithm works best with reblogging so plz consider reblogging and liking my posts

SUNOO WAS STARTING TO GET ANNOYED. Slowly, but surely, his eyes were forming into sharp creases and the furrow of his eyebrows grew deeper with every passing minute — forming a deep line in the center of his forehead.

He was meant to leave this dreary building an hour ago — happily finding a seat next to the bus' window as he listened to the soothing melodies that were emitted from his dark coloured earbuds. He grumbled to himself as he stepped out of the building, clearly upset at the fact that his extra lesson's teacher had kept back the class for an extra hour. He would now have to take a different bus that took a longer route, which he was obviously not very keen on doing.

The wait was a short one, it seemed as if as soon as he sat at the waiting area, with an irritated expression and a pout etched on his lips, the bus driver decided to arrive and end his misery. 'It could be worse,' Sunoo thought as he stepped up the worn out steps. The bus wasn't crowded and still had a decent amount of seats left, which Sunoo grinned at — at least he wouldn't have to give up his beloved window seat.

But alas, all happiness and excitement turned to nervousness as tension raked along his body like a thick blanket. He sat upright, anxiously pulling his eyes over your advancing figure.

You seemed tired, exhausted even. Hair pulled back into a messy updo, loose curls escaping — creating a beautiful frame for your face. Your face that carried a drowsy expression, lips pulled into a small pout and eyes slowly hoping for an empty seat to earn its visibility. And before long, you were seated at the far end of the bus, situated in the last row away from all noise and distraction. In an empty seat next to him.

Kim Sunoo was never in your group of associates. Sure, you had seen him lurking around the campus, his bright eyes and radiant smile instantly setting him apart from the rest, but you had never been one to actively seek out an interaction with the boy.

Likewise, you were never a member in Sunoo's large group of friends. Yes, he had seen you around many a times, to the point where his friend, Jungwon claimed he had a special eye just for you. But, unlike you Sunoo had always wondered what you were like under your mask of indifference. He thought of how beautiful your smile would be and the sound of your laughter as he relayed to you one of the many jokes that passed around his circle.

As you sat next to the peachy boy you could almost instantly clock the tension in the air. His shoulders were stiff as he held his backpack close, almost afraid to come any closer than he already was.

"Are you okay?" a soft voice called out and Sunoo abruptly turned to find its owner. He was so baffled that you were even speaking to him that he disregarded the fact that his weird behaviour was evident to you. While you were worried because you were sure of the fact that if he didnt relax soon he would probably face whiplash.

"Calm down, im not gonna hurt you or anything. It's just that you looked a little frightened." you later voiced out after the small pause of silence. Sunoo let out a breath as he relaxed in his seat, becoming hyper aware of his behaviour towards you. He cleared his throat before responding, "Umm yeah, i'm fine." internally cringing at the way his voice sounded.

"Cool, wouldn't want you passing out on me now."

And Sunoo let out a small chuckle at this, "Yeah, cool."

After your unexpected interaction you both fell into a comfortable air of silence. His thick blanket seemingly, slowly slid off leaving him comfortably perched on his seat as he stared out the window, hoping to get away from your gaze. He was falling back into his regular routine. Sweet melodies traveling through his earbuds as he gazed out at the unfamiliar scenery.

Contentment, that could be the word to describe his state as he lightly hummed to himself, creating a beautiful harmony for whoever heard it. You were still seated next to him, your face still carrying that tired expression but now you were a bit more relaxed. And Sunoo couldn't help but think he was the reason as he physically felt you calm down beside him. Your head unconsciously traveling towards his shoulder, as your grip on your own backpack loosened.

And with this newfound knowledge Sunoo continued his actions. He slowly reached upwards to fix your body against his, so that you wouldn't have to worry about a neck ache later in the afternoon and pulled your bag closer into his lap. Never stopping the soothing noises that came from his mouth. You both stayed like this until the end of the ride, sat in soothing tranquility as a blanket of peace wrapped around you.

You awoke from a light shake on your shoulder, it was Sunoo. "Uhh were almost at my stop so I thought i'd wake you." his voice was ever so quiet as if he was afraid to pull you out of your peaceful state.

"Oh yeah no worries, i'm sorry for you know...." you trailed off at the end of your sentence growing a bit shy because of your current situation.

"Don't worry it's not a problem. I'll always be here if you need a shoulder to lay on." He offered you a sly smile.

"I'll hold you to it then."

"I would be sad if you didn't."

ʚɞ ﾟ˖  sponsors @hyfenet @k-labels @en-web @k-films

© https://...woonova | 2023

[eff-plays]

Wyll really is just so ignored, I'm playing for the first time and just got to act three and jesus, first time seeing his dad in forever at gortash's ceremony thing and theres like no reaction from Wyll?? unless my game bugged which it's been doing more than a fair amount since patch 7.. Like a lot. I saw someone say that Wyll gets treated like Karlachs backpack and like yeah... that scene is about gortash and karlach mostly, Wyll and his dad are just kinda there?? Mean while astarions plotline about vampires doesnt really seem relevant to the story literally at all but theres so much content focusing on that.

HEY sorry for coming back here to yell. If you know all of this or don't care for my flabbergasted yelling then please don't mind me, apologies if this is nonsensical, I am bewildered and my mind has been servery boggled. I just fully took a second to notice that wyll has 1 (ONE) greeting if you've romanced him, I was a lil baffled so I spent a minute spamming everyone in camp and saying hi and ahahahahah, everyone but lae'zel and the side npcs has at least two for the approval I have with them, karlach has 4. So I went to the wiki and, lae'zel has 4 possible romantic greetings and everyone else have above 10 APART FROM WYLL, WHO HAS 1, some of those greetings are if you've broken up but Wyll apparently has 0 (ZERO) if you've broken up BECAUSE Wyll has 7 possible greetings TOTAL TOTAL!! lae'zel has the same amount of platonic greetings as Wyll does total, asstarion has 27, shadowheart has 36 , Karlach has 38. what the actual shit, I'm not sure if the wiki is outdated and they added more for patch 7 but like?????? I also just had that cutscene with mizora, we had just doomed either Wyll or his dad, his dad in my case (even though what Mizora was offering was his location and protection from all but us, doesn't mean that he's dead for sure but everyones acting like Wyll just sacrificed his dad for his freedom, EXCEPT for Karlack whos acting like I took the deal, they really refuse to fix any bugs that involve Wyll huh), and we just get one of those "talk to me" interactions in camp, you don't even get to talk to him about it after that, he just goes right back to "I'm here for you, always" and all the default dialogue options, like bro you dad apparently just had his death cemented and THATS ALL WE GET? thats all he gets? No extra lil bit of dialogue to reassure him seeing as we may have just killed his dad?? idk it feels very significant to his character seeing as he often talks about how much he adores his dad but no? I really regret romancing Wyll first, I'm just getting mad at the game and his treatment like damn. I'm so disappointed, usually fandom ignoring any and all poc in games is just their racism and I've no doubt thats still happening here but I really can't blame people for not latching onto Wyll, he's great and I love him but even when romancing him and no one else, every other companion seems to have so much more going on, cause they literally do, they have so much more content. I knew he had less, I've seen that reddit post about the amount of hours each companion gets but the greeting thing really just whacked me in the face. small and minor correction, i misread the 10 as a16 I believe, so astarion has 21 not 27 as i think i said before! STILL OVER DOUBLE WHAT WYLL HAS AHAHA

(I assumed these were the same person so I bundled them in one big ask)

Oh but remember, Larian ENSURES all their devs work on EXACTLY what they want to work on!!! :))))

This is also why I think Durgewyll is the big brain romance of the game. Because it's the only way to experience even slightly more Wyll content. Like?? ONE romance greeting that was BUGGED for until a much later patch? Like!!!!! GENUINELY THE FUCKING AUDACITY. They should be legit fr fr ashamed lmao. Also Neil Newbon glazing Larian for being soooooo inclusive and making such groundbreaking representation while their only Black character is in the fucking toilet.

Ugh. It sucks so bad lmao. It's frustrating too cuz there's nothing one can do. Clearly speaking up about it has done fuck-all. Even if they drop the world's biggest Wyll patch, it'll still be like oh ok so all that racism was just a funny joke I guess? "Haha tricked you all into thinking we were racist?" To be clear I do want a massive Wyll patch, but I'm still never getting a Larian game again even if they drop it. I'll mayhap pirate one but even so. They've shown their priorities and preferences. They're SOOOOOO keen on speaking to their fans and addressing every little piss-ass useless gripe as soon as possible, except when you ask about Wyll. Then it's radio silence. Because even acknowledging it, apologizing for it, would be inconvenient. It would make it a Big Deal that people would Talk About, and it would tarnish Larian's current status as the gamer audience darling. So better to pretend it's not happening. After all, the only people upset are just some Twitter randos, and nobody listens to those guys.

Whatever man. Theo Solomon saying peanits.

[catgirljaneway]

For the character ask game: Kes + 1, 12, 20

Thank you so much for the ask!! (Ask game in question)

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

Ok! So I'm a huge Kes fan, and I was initially drawn to her because she's got this little aura of joy, and you can't help but love her, which you can see in other character's interactions with her on the show. Any room she walks into instantly gets a little brighter and she's just so fundamentally kind and gentle and full of love.

So that's what initially drew me to her, but what hooked me, was that fact that the longer you watch, the more we learn about her, the more deeply strange she gets. We've got that fantastic scene in elogium where she eats all those fucking bugs with that deranged expression, and of course, my all time favorite, this one scene where the doctor tells Kes he has some autopsy reports for her to read because he knows she loves autopsies. This by the way, is NEVER brought up again which I think is a terrible loss, because what thing to say about a character and then never mention! What a fact!

So you've got this little elfish looking girl, who's still fundamentally kind and gentle, but now we also know "oh she's a bit of a freak!" and she's wicked smart, and then she learn, oh, she's got these terrifying powers at her core and actually she might not be as fundamentally gentle as we (the audience) or kes herself thought. And now Kes has to grapple with this, and she's still a deeply good and loving person at heart, but now she has to try a little harder to suppress these urges and that makes her fundamentally more interesting.

Also her relationships with Janeway and Tuvok and The Doctor all bring me so much joy. Janeway's love for her, and the way she smiles when Kes is around, the way she hugs her when she leaves just!! Rip me to pieces. And Tuvok's mentorship and quiet protection of her?? And that scene when the Doctor holds her in Twisted. Kes has 3 parents, and honestly all three of them think they're taking care of her, but they need her more than she needs them.

And what's kept me loving her, is in a way her missed potential. So much about Kes wasn't explored, so much was left unanswered, and getting to rotate her around in my head and think about all the things she could have been is so fun. I deeply wish she had been used more, because on paper she's such a fascinating, deeply weird character. And she was just starting to come into her own when we leave her. She's broken up with Neelix, she's making her own choices, and I want to imagine where that would have gone. (I have further thoughts on this, but this is already ridiculously long, so I will continue this in a different post)

Long story short, she's a lovable little weird girl, and I like weird little girls. She'd crawl around on all fours and make up weird stories at recess in fourth grade and I like that about her.

Also she reminds me of the "a little guy!" > "oh they're actually fucked up" meme.

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

Well I LOVE the art where people make her look a little more bug like. With weird pupils and antennae and such. I love that, I definitely headcanon her looking a bit creepier like that.

I also headcanon her as a lesbian. Her whole relationship with Neelix baffles me. I honestly LOVE them as friends, they're so great when they're just silly best friends, but I cannot stand them as a couple. She's a gay girlie.

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

SEVEN!! Seven!!! GAH! The missed potential! Pretty much a weirdgirls club with Seven, B'elanna, and Kes. Kes would have been the perfect person to help Seven reintegrate into society, because she's patient and kind, and she'd get a huge kick out of Seven's deadpan humor. I mean, the EMH is her best friend, she's very good at dealing with people who others consider hard to get along with.

Kes wouldn't make Seven feel bad about the way she is, or try to pressure her to conform to what she wants from Seven. She'd take her how she was and love her for her whole being, not for what she could be. Also Seven would be Kes's scary dog ❤️ Because people meet Kes and think she's an easy target or a pushover (even though she could probably obliterate anyone if she so felt like it) but then Seven is standing behind her looking menacing and they hurry away as quick as they can, completely unaware they were scared of the wrong blonde.

[historyofshipping]

More Teen Wolf thoughts

So I knew next to nothing about Teen Wolf when I started watching it last week. I basically just didn't interact with any fandoms when it was live and so I'm coming in without any kind of preconceived notions of who/what the good character/ships/storylines etc other than the movie sucks and I shouldn't watch it. I was also vaguely aware that Ste/rek and Stydia were fandom things.

After watching it, I scrolled through an obscene amount of tumblr stuff related to TW and I truly have to wonder if we watched the same show.

Again, it's a very different viewing experience for me because I didn't have gaps between seasons where I could theorize, over-analyze, etc. I'm also older than the target audience so like that could probably affect how I view things too.

I'll also add that my own relationship had a similar trajectory to Stydia. My partner had a crush on me while I was literally engaged to someone else and we barely knew each other, but then we had a deep friendship form over time. By the time my last relationship ended, his crush had changed to genuine love and my friendship evolved to something romantic. We've been together now over a decade.

So with all that said, here's Stydia thought: I am truly BAFFLED by the fact that people think Stydia getting together was fan service. (More under cut)

Note: I have zero interest in debating or arguing, which is why I'm hoping this won't come up in other ship tags. If you feel the need to argue, just move along because I'll either ignore you or block you. These are just my thoughts - it's not that deep.

I admit I absolutely fell in love with Stydia. I am an absolute sucker for good friends to lovers, detective duos, etc so they were *Chef's kiss* to me.

That said, I'm more than capable of separating my feelings about a ship from a story. So when people say that Stydia was forced together, I'm just kind of dumbfounded since I thought it was literally the only well-written ship in the entire show.

When we start, obviously we have Stiles obsessing over an image of Lydia in his head. But even still, he was never into her popularity or anything like that - he was into the person she was at the core, even when she kept it hidden.

Then they became friends over the course of the next few seasons and Stiles fell in love with her in a different way. He got to know her better and his feelings only deepened. However, she was with other people so he tried to force himself to move on. This is very normal in high school especially.

I did not like the Sta/lia relationship, mostly because I thought Malia deserved a lot better than someone who was clearly still into someone else, but I'm not going to get into that here.

We have canon proof that Stiles was STILL INTO Lydia during season 4&5. So much so that Kira, new to the group and mostly only around post-Malia getting involved, picked up on it: "He still likes her, doesn't he?" "Yeah, but it’s different now." "Stiles was the only one who knew." "He paid attention. He listened to her. He remembered."

Stiles is constantly the one whose main priority is getting her out of Eichen House. He storms in and doesn't give a shit about self-preservation as long as he gets to Lydia and gets her out.

He breaks through his bonds when she's about to be injected.

The camera constantly focuses on their hand touches with each other - whether it's in the hospital, the care with which they constantly stroke each other's face, etc. When Melissa was about to inject Lydia in the neck, she told Stiles specifically to hold her hand - even though he has a fear of needles.

Both of them essentially brought the other back from the dead through their connection.

When he sees her hurt or about to be hurt, it goes back to "I would go out of my freaking mind" - and he does.

Stiles was in love with her for nearly a decade. That doesn't just go away in a few months.

Now, for Lydia, we have her focused on Stiles above all else. He's the one she calls when she's in trouble or upset. She goes to him for comfort. "Stiles saved me."

Whenever there's a Stalia moment and Lydia is around, the camera goes to her for reactions. What comes to mind immediately is in the Mexico car scene where Malia says she'd come back for Stiles.

Now, any of these things individually you could say are just friendship things - and you'd be correct. Above everything, they are friends. Probably best friends. But their bond goes so much deeper than that. Both of them needed that basis of friendship before they could fall into a truly deep love for each other - and that's what we see in season 6.

So yeah, I'm not sure where people are getting the idea that it was out of the blue. It's clearly been built up over seasons and while it *could* have stayed as just very good friends, that wasn't the story they were telling. I'll concede that s6 was kind screwed up because of DOB's filming and injuries but it still wasn't out of the blue.

[hazbincalifornia]

(I’m pretty sure the way I type is recognizable but I need to like pretend at anonymity bc I feel. Remarkably silly about this)

I wanted to like idk rant to someone in the HB fandom who isn’t balls deep in the “anti proship” sphere bc like, I’ve been struggling w guilt over enjoying a certain ship that everyone hates and considers problematic (I think Loona and Octavia is rlly cute!) and I’d like to make content for it but I also rlly fear being seen as like a pedophile. Do u ever worry abt that kind of thing? And is there anyway ur able to get over it if u do? I don’t like getting into anti/anti anti discourse bc I feel like it’s a very reductive way to view and interpret media but I still have a crazy amount of worry/guilt

First off, it is still ridiculous to me that this is even a problem in this fandom. This is an adult show about characters in Hell, and the main characters are, respectively, assassins and the eclectic cast of the Hotel which includes a cannibal serial killer. (I am eternally both amused and completely baffled that like half the awful puritanical takes I see are from Val icons. Buddy. Pal. The fucked up fiction is coming from inside the house.) I saw waaaaay more fucked up shit on Zim nsfw twitter than I see on Hellaverse twitter and that show was Y7. Up your game, guys.

Personally, I don't really see Loona and Via as siblings/sisters as much as I think a lot of others do, more just friends (and honestly I think canon moved much too quickly to give them such a heartfelt scene together, they hadn't even met officially before that point?) so it's really only the age thing and even then, the plot of HB has seemed to imply that a fair amount of time has passed since the series started, probably around a year- so Via would be 18 or older by the time anything actually started anyway, especially if they became friends first. Setting aside the 'justification' though... they're not real. They're cute together, I agree, and I think you should be perfectly fine enjoying them just in the lens of 'they're similar, I like how they'd interact, and I think they're cute together'!

I was pretty much forged in my opinions about this from Invader Zim stuff, where people insisted that liking two characters that I'd liked together since I was thirteen made you a pedophile. Obviously, I could tell that wasn't true, because it had never been the case in all those years up to people starting to be bitchy about it in 2019. (Before that, it was that it was bad because it was enemies to lovers and, more importantly, gay. Great hater throne to inherit, guys!)

Unfortunately... as stupid as it is, this fandom is way more puritanical than it should be, so it wouldn't be wrong to engage through anonymity to protect yourself. Find the people in the tag who are using 'proship/proship interact' or something along those lines (I've seen a few, although some tend to lean more on hard/dead dove content), post on ao3 into the anonymous collection which removes your name, make a tumblr sideblog that doesn't connect to your main, find fellow shippers and interact with them specifically. Do whatever you need to do to keep yourself safe from people who can't understand that thinking something is cute or interesting to explore in fiction is automatically bad just because they don't like it. The more stuff that's put out there about the ship, the more likely you are to find kindred spirits, that's honestly part of how I gathered my mpreg weirdos to me in both this fandom and the last.

I'm pretty sure that the callout I got for Sunny was why several mutuals who were a friend group unfollowed (and likely muted) me on twitter. Unfortunately, it left me worrying that the other shoe was going to drop any day for about a week because it got just enough notes to make me worry but not enough to get to anyone with any real reach to spread and get it 'over with'.

At this point, I've sort of reached a state of 'fuck it', because if it happens, it happens. I know that I'm fine, and the people I genuinely care about know that too. I know that what I'm making is entirely separate from my morals as a person, if not from how dumb the IZ stuff was than from the fact that I was an English major. Literature is full of stuff that authors don't make as a 1:1 with their real-life morals! And the one you're thinking about isn't 'bad' comparatively at all.

I think the fandom is starting to see that being a dick about fictional content is bad through the backlash to Poison and 'hey, maybe telling somebody that they need to detail their trauma to the public to make fiction is bad?', but it seems to mostly be centered on dub/noncon, so I wouldn't necessarily hold my breath.

At the end of the day though, remember this: You, as a person, are completely fine, no matter what others might think. Octavia and Loona would probably be seen as a totally normal ship like ten years ago (except for people who'd be dicks about them being gay) and there is no judgement to be made on your character in any reasonable way for thinking they're a good ship. You're not a pedophile for thinking a fictional owl and hellhound look cute together, any more than I was for smacking together two Nicktoon characters, and frankly the IZ argument held slightly more water than 'the almost-18-year-old and the 22-year-old' because Zim's age was so ambigious. Try explaining this 'people think the young adult animals holding hands are bad' to any adult who isn't sucked into fandom discourse and they'd probably be baffled that it's a problem.

I know that the guilty feelings aren't always rational and it took a bit of time for me to unwind how I felt about creating certain stuff too, but try to remember that above all else- exploring things in fiction has been a thing people have done for a very, very long time. What matters is your actions towards other real people, not what you do with fictional dolls.

If nothing else, if you want you can always send me a dm and chat that way, I'd be happy to talk.

[empress-of-snark]

I really love hellcheer fanfiction and the ship in general. But I really don't like joseph quinn. I've heard some things about him that are pretty baffling... like being rude to fans at cons and texting a vomit emoji to a friend when they asked how it was going. Apparently the con worker sitting next to him saw the text. Even if that's false, there's still many fans who have revealed how disinterested and rude he was to them while signing autographs. He's obvi just going because he gets hella money for it, but he could at least be polite to the ppl making him rich.

I still love the eddie character tho & I'm trying really hard to seperate the character from the actor. I also just love your friends fanfic too much to stop reading.

Oh, that’s sad to hear. I didn’t know any of that, and always got the impression that he was a nice guy.

I’m inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt, though. I think it probably takes a tremendous amount of energy to sit through meet-and-greets at multiple cons, and maybe all the social interaction is just taking a toll on him. And he is still relatively new to this level of fame—before ST season four came out, he was relatively unknown and didn’t have to deal with anywhere near the amount of attention he gets now.

(I know I’d personally hate doing cons, if I were a celeb. I’m way too introverted for that kind of thing lol.)

But I’m sad for those fans who’ve had disappointing experiences meeting him, especially after they paid money and waited in line to do so. And if he is being genuinely rude to people, then I’m not defending him. I just don’t like rushing to judgment when I don’t know all the details, y’know?

Thank you for reading and enjoying my fic, though! Sorry I haven’t posted any sneak peeks lately, but I promise I’ll have something to share by this weekend!

[pknn18]

That Man

(Posting one of my writings here for like the first time lmfao)

Every week this man comes into the store to buy the same three things: A4 Paper, Ink spools, and the latest edition of The Daily Beagle. Never for anything else. He always wore some type of flannel or vest  Or both. Either way he paired them with blue jeans and loafers. He wasn't really that tall, but not that short either. And he always had on blue-rimmed eye-glasses. This man's name is Bernard Bunny and he has perplexed me for three damn months.

The first time I saw him he immediately caught my attention. Even before he walked up to me he stood out from everyone else. He had such a tacky fashion sense it'd be impossible not to. But it wasn't just that, something about him just seemed disconnected from everyone else, myself included. I couldn't pinpoint it at the time. It was borderline mystical. Then some jerk clapped their hands in front of my face and I had to go back to doing my job. So I slaved away at checking out the lines of people looking to buy mediocre food. But then… There he was.  He was the last in line and he carried with him: A4 Paper, Ink spools, and the latest edition of The Daily Beagle. He walked up to me with a smile on his face and said: "Howdy!". Confused and kind of startled, I just said "Hey". He gave me the exact amount of money needed to buy that stuff, even factoring in the tax. He said goodbye and went on his way. I still thought about him for the rest of my shift but he left my mind by the time I got home.

Next week I'm at work and…He's there again. Nothing wrong with that considering a lot of people might go to the store multiple times a month but he was distracting. He grabbed the same three things too. A4 paper, Ink spools, and the latest edition of The Daily Beagle. He said "Howdy" in the same tone of voice, paid in exact cash, and left. I was completely baffled. It was the exact. same. interaction. The only difference was that he wore a gaudy vest instead of a gaudy flannel. 

And he came back the next week. And the next week. And the next week. I thought I was going crazy, that I was suddenly repeating one specific day. But that wasn't the case.I don't know what it was about this man but his mere presence drove me nuts. And then he just kept on visiting. Didn't miss a beat in THREE MONTHS. And he always had that same expression, that same damn smile. I was convinced that nothing phased him when one day he walked in absolutely covered in rain and slipped the moment he entered the store. He got up and he was still chipper, and that was the last goddamn straw.

One day while I was on my lunch break I decided to look at that Daily Beagle paper he always gets. I never read a Newspaper before but that's how much this man was screwing with my head. Then, I stumbled upon a page that struck me with its contents.

"Daily Beagle reporter Bernard Bunny given a spot in the Guinness Book of World Records as the fastest Typewriter user!"

And that's when it hit me: This. Was just some GUY. I got worked up over some dork from a paper. I just sat there for the rest of my break in both confusion and annoyance? What was so special about him?? It's something I'm still thinking about even as of this writing. Funny thing about that day is that he didn't actually come in on that day. Or any of the other days of that week. It felt strange, empty even. I can't believe I'm hoping to see some random stranger I barely know again. Assuming I ever will.

[littlespoonevan]

i'm sorry i really don't wanna be rude! but have you maybe considered putting your oneshots on ao3, too? they're so good and i think they deserve more love than just floating in the tumblr void! and also, it's just so much easier to read there? i mean, i don't wanna insult your tumblr skin but you kinda do have a very small font here :v anyways, please don't hate me! it's just a suggestion. love your work

omg anon, you’re not being rude at all! i’ve had a couple of people ask me about it before and i have thought about it but i suppose i’m hesitant because i like to keep my ao3 for fics i’ve worked really hard on and put a lot of thought/effort into whereas my tumblr fics are usually things i’ll churn out after writing for an hour or two, y’know? i promise i will think about it (maybe i’ll post them altogether once i’ve finished the prompts currently in my inbox) but in the meantime i’ll increase the font size on my blog so hopefully they’re a bit easier to read <3

[stormblessed95]

Just Say You're Jealous of Jimin and Go.

I wasn't planning on saying anything about the drama on Twitter this morning after the group photo was posted after the press conference. But its honestly ridiculous, so consider this me venting it out here for a moment. BTS dropped an amazing song, had a wonderful press conference, and dropped a group photo where jikook were... jikooking. It was amazing and I'll probably never be over it! And IMMEDIATELY hate started going around under Big Hits account and on the timeline for Jimin and Jikook. Its not even about ships anymore, its about basic respect for a group you say you "stan" and love.

Not only were weird edits made of Tae or other women idols in place of Jimin, but the amount of defensive "they are brothers" tweets and hate directed towards Jimin was insane. Its just a god damn photo. It's adorable, appreciate it or don't, but keep your toxicity to yourself.

All the comments about Jungkook being forced to pose like this or forced to interact with Jimin are straight bullshit. And I can't believe that is even a thing anyone has to say at this point. I'm fully aware basically all the hate came from TKKs. Which baffles me because there were a ton of adorable Taekook moments recently. Obsess over those? Is it because this singular moment was more intimate and telling than any other moment TK had that showcased their friendship? Take your jealousy and shove it.

Look! Taekook are cute as hell together! Can you just enjoy them without spewing toxic bullshit just because you see Jimin as some kind of threat to your ship? And no. Jungkook is not being forced into anything. Anyone who says that he is, doesn't actually know their idol AT ALL. Jungkook, Tae and Jin are the kings of "I do whatever I want... I don't listen to the company." Those 3 give off the biggest "wtf are they gonna do, fire me?" vibes. Yet people are still out here thinking they are forced into interactions they don't want or forced to stay away from each other?

Jungkook forced to interact intimately with someone he doesn't want to be with? This is the same man who was told he shouldn't get tattoos because its not okay for an idol, who now has a full sleeve and spent the live today showing them off in short sleeves. This is the same man who dyed his hair himself in the bathroom after the company told him not to. This is the same man who pushes the members off him whenever he needs space. This is the same man who has declined "fanservice" when not in the mood. This is the same man who stared down a bunch of fans and said "I am not your Oppa" even though RM was telling him its fine and to let it go for the fans. He does not do anything he doesn't want to do. This is the man whose slogan is "rather be dead than cool." Who doesn't want to live unless he is living with passion. He is a rebel soul at heart. And he is a grown ass man who can take care of himself. If he is hugging someone, its because he wants to hug them. So step off his ass and let him live. Damn.

And Tae? You think he is going to stay away from someone he supposedly loves just because the company said to? Tae? The same man who got on livestream on his birthday to inform the fans that the company banned him from saying anything about his mixtape... and then proceeded to say "But I don't listen to the company" and giggle his butt off while sending snarky looks to the staff as he played 3 to 5 second clips of his mixtape songs on live stream. The same man who also dyed his hair himself after the company said no. The one who said No, I won't flash my abs anymore, im not comfortable with it and had RM talk to the company to get their choreography changed along with the other members. The one who has no problem telling fans they have no chance with him in WeVerse replies (not very good fanservice there for a typical idol). Tae, who wrote a Christmas love song and wanted to have it be a duet with Jimin and had the company tell him that 2 guys couldn't sing the song and he had to record it with a female Vocalist and release it that way. And Tae responded by refusing to release the song, he wanted it to be Jimin, if he couldn't have Jimin, he wouldn't do the song.

Do either of these men sound like pushovers and doormats like people are making them out to be? Jin has a reputation in the fandom as the rebel. JinHit is a running joke. Everyone is willing to recognize it. But for some reason, that same energy is ignored in Taekook. Their shippers are willingly blind to it. If their shippers had to admit that Taekook had free will, it would dismantle their entire tragic star crossed lovers canon divergent fanfiction as exactly what it is... fiction.

Jimin is NOT the problem here. If Kookie didn't want to be in an embrace with him, he wouldn't be. THEY BOTH chose to pose like this and they all chose to post it. And I, for one, absolutely love it. BTS are all grown men who can make their own choices and don't need their so called fans victimizing them for things that aren't even a problem. Also, Tae and JK are both so endeared by and love Jimin so much, they would be appalled by the things people say about him in relation to their "ship" so everyone should just leave them all alone!

Ship whoever you want, but put respect on all 7 members. If you can't, then keep your mouth closed. Good lord.

Anyway, Jikook are SO loud lately and nothing you say will change how close they are. Stay Pressed and Stream Butter.

🖕🏼🤘🏻💜

[foibles-fables]

Would have been able to stomach Talanah’s messed up quest if she had at least joined Aloy’s crew at the end? Because I suffered through it all, thinking ���I’ll finish her quest and then she’ll help me with the Zeniths, just like old times in HZD’ and then she just… goes back to Meridian. No questions about the base and what the others are doing and can she help her Thrush, nothing. That’s the worst part for me. She doesn’t even get to stay and join the team.

That's a resounding YES from me, anon.

I mean--I can think (and have thought) of SO many reasons for Talanah to have been in the West, all of them very much aside from Exclusively Amadis. However, I've come to begrudging terms with the concept of what we were shown--but heavens NOT its writing or execution--and I'm set to move forward with what canon presented.

(This is where I could start delving into that unhinged Here's How The Birdies Can Still Win essay I'm brewing...but I'm still trying to make sure my thoughts are half-coherent and that I organize all the points I wanna hit. SOON, I promise. I know there are a few asks related to this sitting in my inbox--I promise I'm not ignoring ya! Just have shit for brains lately. A bad case of [Ragurt voice] the rot.)

Back on track!!! Yes. If her quests in HFW had culminated in her staying and joining the team and becoming part of the Base and like, having an actual ROLE to play, I certainly would've been able to stomach it a lot better.

The fact that she doesn't do/isn't granted these things is a testament to the writing and execution issues I've driven home again and again, in my Burning Blooms/Need to Know post and plenty of elsewheres. Whether her half-baked, comics-rehash, goddamn-stilted ridiculous quest line was a production problem (as I can't help but suspect) or otherwise--post-Amadis weirdness aside, this specific part (her not actually reacting to the Base, her not asking Aloy even once what's up, her not offering to stay in aid) speaks to an absolutely bonkers amount of infidelity to established character. Like, come on, y'all. That's not the Talanah we met and grew to love in Zero Dawn. I don't think I need to hammer that point home again.

If the Amadis plot line had ended up with Talanah being like "well THAT was a weird time, I'm kinda embarrassed and have a lot to think about, but I can clearly see that there's something bigger going on here and it's my duty as your friend to stand by you"--and if that had further developed and led to growth while interacting with her at the Base--I would've been a lot cooler with it. Maybe even very unambiguously happy with it. (More on that later.) But that's not what we got, and it's still utterly baffling to me.

don't get me STARTED on the fact that Talanah is the only one Aloy explicitly says she wishes would've stayed, when she spends the whole game pushing her old friends away, I'll simply just DIE

(also I think I just said the same thing differently in four paragraphs, lmao, good job being succinct and frugal with ya words, foibs)

[a-dragons-journal]

hello rani, i see you're in the middle of something with the other anons so please get to me when you're ready! i was wondering, what advice would you give to someone starting their first otherkin blog? i haven't even posted an intro yet bc i don't know what to say about myself really, and what if i get no interaction because my kintype is just... common? i want to explore this part of myself and to help otherkin in the way you're able to! how did you get started?

My advice boils down to this: Post for you, not for anyone else.

Don't start out with the goal of becoming well-known, or even necessarily of helping the community. Make a blog because you want to. Make and reblog the content you enjoy and find important. Your blog is for you before it is for anyone other than you. If you prioritize fame or keyboard-warrioring or any of that over actually enjoying your time in the community, you will not enjoy yourself, and if you don't enjoy your own content, chances are most other people won't either. That doesn't mean you shouldn't do anything for other reasons, but make sure that enjoyment of your time here is one of your top priorities.

This blog is titled "A Dragon's Journal" for a reason - it started out as, and still is first and foremost, a personal journaling blog. It's a place for me to record my own experiences, thoughts, and feelings, as well as to interact with others and find others with similar ones. I most definitely did not set out with any ideas of becoming a "big blog," and to this day I am still a bit baffled that I'm currently sitting above 2k followers and growing.

Turns out, if you post relatively regularly (including reblogs), people interact with you, and eventually even start to recognize you. (Even if you never become a "big blog" - there are blogs that aren't "big blogs" that I recognize in my notes because they're consistently in my notes - they're my regulars, as it were.) Once people start to recognize you, they'll start to form an opinion on you, and unless you're actively irritating them people tend to view familiar faces with some degree of affection. People are drawn to people who are genuine, in this community; if you just talk about what you want to talk about, you will gather people to you who also want to hear and talk about those things.

(The other thing I've consistently gotten as an answer when I express the aforementioned bafflement at the fact that this many people are following me is basically that I try to be kind and polite to people even when they're annoying me (or if I can't do that, I refrain from interacting at all, generally), and I do at least a minimal amount of research before opening my mouth on a subject. Both of which I just kind of consider generally good principles to follow in life.)

As far as the fear of people not caring because your kintype is common, you're talking to a dragon (and not only that, the most stereotypical Western dragon on the gods' green earth), dear :P I have found that kintype truly does not seem to matter when it comes to "big names" in the community - go down any list of "well-known" nonhuman individuals, and there's the extremely common, the truly unique, and everything in between. Content matters more than the species it's written for, in my experience.

Do it for you. Not for the followers, not for the "community," for you.

And I'll be cheering you on along the way. :3

[heliopauseentertainments]

for the Valentines ask meme; 3, 14, 23, 25 (you can pick and chose if you want)

Valentine Fandom Ask Meme (still accepting)

3. What is the rarest rare pair (that you ship)?

Let's see. I already mentioned MegaProwl the last time, so I'mma try a different one. Rare but that I actively enjoy and seek out... gonna go Megatron/Drift this time.

I enjoy it. I've actually sought out the content that I could for it. I've written it and look forward to one day writing more. Only... 4-5 other people that I know of also actively like it.

Every time someone posts something with this ship in it, we all show up like someone's taking roll call.

14. Is there a ship you feel gets undeserved hate in fandom?

I can think of two right off the top of my head. WindScream and MegaStar both get a weird amount of hate. Like it's fine to not like them; that's cool. It's the hate I don't get.

The former ship I'm not even really into, but almost all the complaints I've seen are that it's the same as some or other Star Wars ship. I haven't interacted with media from that franchise in like 15 years so I have no idea what people are talking about.

I don't really see how it relates to TF at all. So, the complaints just baffle me, like I thought we were talking about robots, guys.

For the latter ship, I'm gonna stop there so we don't go into the weeds.

23. Have you ever started shipping a ship because of the fans?

No, not really.

Usually it goes the other way for me. Hasn't happened much in TF though.

I think the closest I've gotten to liking something because of the fans is MegaRatch, because I read two specific fics about it randomly and then got hooked. And decided I needed to make content for it.

25. I there a ship you wish you didn’t know existed?

In TF? No, not really. If I don't like something, I just filter it and go about my day.

Thanks for asking!

[babygirlwolverine]

i'll really miss your writing, i hope you'll be back soon! i'm sorry you feel like your writing is flopping. it did make me curious, what do you consider a flop or success for your fics? cuz your angsty fic got over a hundred notes which is what i'd consider a success, i see a lot of writing on here get a lot less notes!

hi nonnie! Thank you for saying you’ll miss my writing. I promise to be back soon. I just need a break and to get to a place mentally where i dont feel disappointed or unhappy with my writing. i want to feel content and proud of the things i post and to get back to the place where i enjoy writing. right now my head is just struggling and i’m looking at everything i post as a failure. But truly, thank you for your kinds words and your sweet message <3

As for your question, I just set goals for myself for everything i write and post. Especially with the amount of followers I have, I tend to be very hard on myself when it comes to my goals. For ficlets/drabbles i post where i just post at random and don’t spend as long writing the fic (and dont tag anyone) i kinda hope to get 100-150 notes. for my longer fics where i spend hours working on a fic and i tag my tag list, I hope to get 200-300 notes. mostly because I tag like 130 people on the fics where I include my tag list, so if i barely get to 150 notes that means a majority of my tag list isn’t even liking or reblogging the fics i post, which then makes me wonder why someone wants to be tagged if they never interact with my posts? because I’m so hard on myself and i set the bar so high for myself, it feels like a devastating blow when i spend hours working on a fic and it just doesn’t get the interaction I hoped for. I just get in my head and start convincing myself no one is interacting because no one likes it and I should stop posting and just write privately for myself and never share my creations. And yeah, i know deep down it’s not about the notes, but also i post these things for yall to enjoy. And when so many people follow me, it still baffles me when only 3% of my followers (on average) interact with my posts. it’s just a hard battle, and i know other content creators kinda face those same doubts in their heads. Mostly it’s just because i set goals for myself and the little voice in my heads tears me down when i don’t reach those goals. So it’s more of a ‘me’ problem then anything else, just because i set the bar so high for myself with every single thing i post because I care so much and put so much time and energy and devotion into everything from drabbles to fics. now I’m definitely rambling, I’m very sorry. It’s been a long day so far oh boy. I hope this kinda explains my silly mindset. I’m just my own harshest critic and people close to me have told me a hundred times i just tear myself down too easily because I’d rather give all the love and joy and happiness to everyone else around me (and other content creators) then give any of that love to myself.

[somecunttookmyurl]

I'm very curious about the research you mentioned concerning CYP2D6 metabolism. Could you post or DM the name of the study? Is your plan to inhibit CYP2D6 by taking CBD or an anti-histamine to increase the effectiveness of the anphetamine based ADHD meds you're taking? Seems like an interesting (and well researched) plan - I hope it works for you if that's what you're doing!

YOU ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD. I’m gonna put this under a readmore so as to not bore the other 3,066 of you with weirdly specific pharmacology and pharmacogenetics talk Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, or a pharmacist, or any sort of medical professional at all. I have absolutely zero qualifications in pharmacology I’m just a nerd with half a psychology degree, a talent for study design, and shitty fucking doctors.

So I first learned about CYP26D metabolism (and the broader P450 cytochrome) in like 2017 from a friend doing a PhD in things much smarter than me. I’ve always been a Feral Drug Goblin (resistant if not immune to a lot of drugs) and she seemed to think that’s what was happening. Which tracks because like. 90% of the stuff that doesn’t work on me is a CYP2D6 substrate (the rest are CYP3A4 so I might have more than one defect, but if there’s something funky going on on 3A4 the effect is less pronounced)

Later discovered I have hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (hEDS) and like... many if not most EDS sufferers have *at least* one P450 defect . Around 80% or so of people with chronic pain more generally have at least one P450 defect. It’s not something I’ve been tested for because a) even though CYP2D6 metabolism and its effect on drug treatment has been studied for like 30 years, the NHS only started introducing genomic testing for it in 2019 and b) getting a referral would require finding a doctor who knows what it is which, like, lmao. Honestly though we can be about 99% certain I’m an ultrarapid metaboliser, all things considered. Mostly I want a genomic test to see if any of the others are broken.

Now, I don’t know why it took me four years to think of it but over the weekend at 2:30am (I’m not allowed to have a thought during daylight hours actually) that like... logically speaking... if you gave a potent CYP2D6 inhibitor to an ultrarapid metaboliser it would normalise (or at least improve, depending on how many functional copies of the gene I’m dealing with like people have been found with thirteen copies) the metabolic function. Absolute galaxy brain moment.

Of course combining a CYP2D6 substrate and a CYP2D6 inhibitor generally carries a “moderately severe” interaction warning because if you’re alrealy, like, normal that could be dangerous. So I had a dig around to see if anybody had studied that specific thing and whether it was actually safe.

It took me... a pretty long time because this concept is massively understudied. I mean there’s 1001 studies on “does being an ultrarapid metaboliser of CYP2D6 affect [x substrate drug]” to the extent it’s like... yeah dude. The answer is yes. It’s always yes. I think we’ve proved this concept. Don’t think you need to do it for every single drug. We get it. There are a couple though. Both of the studies were only 5 participants, and were done 20 years ago (2000 and 2001) but in both cases all participants showed... honestly pretty amazingly positive responses and no ill effects. Which is why I’m so baffled that seemingly nobody has studied it since. Like “well, this went fantastically well! We shall never speak of it again” The first study gave the participants debrisoquine hydroxylation, which is the substance they use to test the function of CYP2D6 when they do the genomic test. So they weren’t on a CYP2D6 substrate already they were given it specifically for the study. Then they were given quinidine (an anti-arrhythmic which has sadly been disconintues) as an inhibitor. Without quinidine, the metabolic ratio of debrisoquine in the participants after 6 hours was 0.01 - 0.07. Which is, like, fuck all. With quinidine that amount was 12.6, 10.1, 9.2, 2.4, and 2.2. Participants had 3, 3, 4, 13, and 13 copies of the gene respectively so the more copies you have the less improvement you see, but < 0.1 to 2.2 is still huge https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2014903/ The second study in 2001, also 5 participants, administered nortriptyline as the substrate and then used paroxetine (an SSRI) as the inhibitor. After taking nortriptyline for a week, all participants had very low subtherapeutic levels of the drug in their systems. Following 2 weeks of treatment with paroxetine, 4/5 participants had normally-expected therapeutic levels of noritryptiline. The other participant withdrew after 1 week of paroxetine treatment after getting side effects from it but still had an increase in noritryptiline levels in that time so it was working he just didn’t tolerate paroxetine very well. https://sci-hub.se/https://ascpt.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1016/S0009-9236(01)78384-1

Those are, to my knowledge, the only studies done specifically to test whether you can normalise liver function using an inhibitor. There is a case study from 2006 of a 6 year old boy with ADHD who didn’t respond to drugs and was confirmed to be an ultrarapid metaboliser. The authors recommend usage of an inhibitor in such cases

https://sci-hub.se/https://journals.lww.com/psychopharmacology/Citation/2006/08000/An_ADHD_6_year_old_Child_Ultrarapid_Metabolizer.25.aspx

I can’t have paroxetine or fluoxetine because I have a bipolar-spectrum disorder and historically me and SSRIs are not friends. However buproprion (wellbutrin) is an inhibitor which I was prescribed before to counteract a side effect from atomoxetine and like I was definitely more functional at the time? But that was way before I had this genius plan, or knew it was an inhibitor, so. There’s been a supply issue here for it since July. So yeah. I’m going to be taking CBD. Amphetamines do absolutely fuck all by themselves so like literally my plan is “taking weed pills to try and make my liver talk to meth properly” which sounds absolutely ridiculous. Gonna be hilarious if it fuckin’ works. I’m going to be doing a proper study and writing it all up and everything. Emailed the researchers involved in the 3 studies to see if they’re interested in my data like 20 years later lmao but if you wanna read the study outline it’s here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1TOnToHMH7UhYMFM9qtv-4ZWmaV7Pr6IQeYv6QDAGVrQ/edit?usp=sharing Just gonna keep going unti it either works, or the amount of CBD required becomes too expensive (which would be like 9 weeks max bc I can’t afford to be taking more than 60mg CBD every day forever).